Introspection of The Lotus Manjè, Vol. 9

Unnecessary Misunderstanding

I usually keep to scheduling my posts on the same days every two weeks, but since February 2nd is my birthday, I figured I’d write a post for myself and my audience for later reflections.

As today is my twenty-fifth birthday, I will be, in so many words, officially “set in my ways.” At this point in my life, I am thankful for my father and what he has done for me and my brother; he has nurtured two men who will grow into powerful people in due time. I will make sure that statement comes to pass.

In the years that passed, I have few times where I have compromised my stance on things. And in every one of those situations, I have been disappointed, and become more hardened in my views. Now that I am amongst more people due to college than my time in the army, I repeatedly am chastised for keeping to myself and minding my own business, ignoring other people around me. Maybe they feel that I am purposefully doing it or that I may have a holier-than-thou complex. It is neither. I simply enjoy my space and like to be alone at times, to keep my mind clear. I have had a few squabbles with friends and family, including my own father, about my behavior, and it never feels like they understand, but rather wish I was someone else. But their thoughts pale in comparison to the females who have taken such offense to the fact I seclude myself that they have gone out of their way to be seen, many times to the point of annoyance. There was even a situation a few months ago that had finally let me realize that I truly am someone that is difficult to understand. But I propose a different line of thinking for the people see me as a problem for no good reason:

Maybe instead of trying to shame me for keeping to myself, why not understand that I will be who I am and leave it at that?

I do not terrorize others. I do not commit illegal acts for profit. I do not degrade myself for fun or make an ass of myself for a quick buck. And I especially do not throw away my values to acquiesce to another person, especially a woman. All of these characteristics obviously make me not the most agreeable person, and while I have my own thoughts on that, I also am thankful for them as well. In a strange way, I feel that someone like me is needed in this world, but I’m not exactly sure why yet. I hope to find out soon.

In the meantime, I’ll continue to tear shit up and prosper.


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